actually touching here
When I considered the challenges of having two children I thought about the sleepless nights, the extra laundry, the noise, the squabbles. Of course I thought about the jealousy too but I totally underestimated just how much this would affect our family.
Whilst I was pregnant with S I read F books on having a new baby. We talked about it a lot but its hard to say how things actually translate in the mind of a 2.5 year old who, thus far, has had the world revolve around him.
So when the actual day came for the two of them to meet Seth did the courteous thing of buying his big bro a shiny new fire engine. F eyed him suspiciously but was bloody happy with his new toy – everything was good.
Day 3 was when it all started to go wrong (about the time he figured this baby was here to stay after his repeated requests for him to go back to hospital were denied), nearly 6 months later they have only marginally improved.
At worst he won’t look or talk to his brother, he moans constantly when I am feeding him, if S so much brushes against his leg he claims ‘Mummy he kicked me’, he shouts loudly next to the pram or cot whenever I try to get Seth so sleep and hovers a foot over him asking ‘Shall i jump on his head’? To this day they have never had a little hug or cuddle, any happy photo I have of the both of them is well timed positioning on a good day.
People said give it a couple of weeks he’ll get used to him – he didn’t. They said wait till he’s smiling then they can interact – he won’t. They said wait till S can move – but whoa betide he try and grab one of F’s toys! Now he is semi shuffling about i can only see it getting worse.
However there are some positives, the stand off means i can leave them alone together whilst i go to the loo! I have no worries my toddler will try and pick up my baby or suffocate him with a well meaning hug. Every cloud and all.
Also i must admit there is also the occasional show of affection – a couple of weeks ago Seth hit his head on the coffee table whilst rolling about and Felix was distraught. He cried real tears calling ‘My S, i don’t want him to be hurt’. Whenever we pick F up from pre-school and the other children gather round the buggy to get a glimpse he will proudly claim ‘That’s MY baby’. So deep down i do think he loves him.
The difficult thing is that most of my friends have siblings that adore each other – has anyone had these type of problems?! Is there anything i can do? Help!
would you like an elbow in the face?