This week has mostly been about vomit. The baby went down first and then after 5 days on lock down he started to feel a bit better, so i started to fantasise about actually getting out for some air and maybe spending nap-time enjoying a bit of garden sun.
Then this morning, with precision timing, the bigger one vomited everywhere as i was getting him ready for pre-school. So with a very ill big one and a not fully recovered little one, who was by now also battling a painful ear infection we have been doing lots of this.
Which wouldn’t be half so bad if they were in any way decent patients. But they can’t really sit still, they just keep getting up and trying to play and then wailing and coming back for a cuddle. They do this on loop, interspersed by vomiting, a small bit of sleeping and a lot of ear bashing.
And then would you frickin believe it this happened.
Leading to me hiding in the kitchen between vomit cleaning shifts, doing this.
It seems i am the only person in possession of a half decent immune system around here. Shouldn’t the breastfed baby have better anti-bodies or something? Surely there must be someone i can sue under the trade descriptions act.
The brief times i have left the house I have been on a mission to score drugs on behalf of teeny tiny eardrums. Which is no mean feat soon as i always seem to get the doctor that makes you feel like a junkie who is for some reason addicted to giving her baby antibiotics.
Anyway i thought i would share my top tips for getting your hands on the good stuff:-
- Tell them the baby won’t sleep, is irritable and very sad.
- Tell them the baby is headbutting the floor and walls in pain.
- Tell them your baby won’t eat anything, is lethargic and thin.
- Tell them the baby is struggling to see the point in life.
- Tell them, yes, you know the baby is smiling and happy looking but they always do that when you go to the doctors just to make you look like a neurotic bitch.
Actually no. None of those things work.
The only thing that works is to take them once and say those things and then take them back and repeat those things 3 days later. When no, it did not get better by itself and yes he has just been in unnecessary pain for all that time and yes you are all a tad tired.
Never mind anyway – ultimately I win! ALL HAIL BANANA FLAVOURED AMOXICILLIN.
A better week in a bottle.
So whilst the sick people are tired of being sick and the well people (me) are tired of looking after the sick people, there has been one positive thing about today – I just read that Lucy Beale is soon to be murdered in Eastenders! :)
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