Second child syndrome AKA Instagram baby

Instagram Baby
(An ode to subsequent children)

You’re an Instagram baby, he was DSLR;
There are times when you’re not properly strapped in the car.

We binned all the books that suggested routines,
And we ditched the organic and fed you baked beans.

You’re wearing your brother’s shoes, I’m not sure if they fit,
And your white cotton vests are stained with his sh*t.

I may take twice as long to respond when you cry,
But I’m much less inclined to worry you’ll die.

I’m the first to admit we’ve let sterilising slide
And I’d wager your milk’s left too long on the side.

I’ve been a crap mum if I’m telling the truth,
Someone else noticed when you cut your first tooth.

Your first ‘art’ from nursery? I may have had to fake it,
Your handmade birthday bunting? I couldn’t be f*cked to make it.

Its not that you’re second best, I’m just all out of time,
And my evenings are strictly reserved for nice wine.

So our love for you might not be evidence based,
The minimal photos were taken in haste.

But see Instagram baby, who needs DSLR’s?
The proof can be found at the core of our hearts.


This post is linked up to the #badmumsclub linky. This time it’s hosted by the fabulous Aimee at Pass The Gin but make sure you check out the posts from fellow members Morgana at But Why Mummy Why and Alison at Not Another Mummy Blog – both equally as wicked ;)



55 thoughts on “Second child syndrome AKA Instagram baby

  1. wrymummy

    Cute cute cute picture! And very funny poem, Katie – so true! You totally deserve to go through to the final, best of luck! xx

  2. Belinda

    Ha ha!!! Your poem is fabulous…and all so true! And I definitely agree with the line about the evenings being reserved for nice wine!

  3. Tim

    Love this – and oh so true too! We were much the same with our two, and with the third I have to keep reminding ourselves that photos aren’t just for birthdays and special occasions too!

  4. fee

    love this. It’s apt for the second child…the third needs a whole new ode. But it would probably attract the attention of social services!

  5. mummydaddyme

    Oh Katie, I love this. Every word so true. Poor second children. ;) You are so funny and talented Mrs. x

  6. doriandean

    Lovely… the subject of my blog, my baby, is my second, and I have two stepchildren too. This is so, so true. :) Thanks… gave me a laugh this morning.

  7. Franglaise Mummy

    I bloody love this! And I normally hate blog poems and immediately close the page when I land on them. You clever, clever lady and every word is true. Those poor second kids of ours ;-)

  8. Veronica at

    Ha ha ha! Reminds me of a tale I heard about a woman with four kids. “When the first child drops their cookie on the floor, you put it in the bin and get them a new one. When the second child drops their cookie, you dust it off and give it back to them. When the third one drops their cookie, you pull it out of the dog’s mouth and hand it back. With the fourth child it’s easier – there is not cookie.”

  9. Abby Boid

    This is awesome. Totally agree. And totally I think my second is more content than the first. My third is positively in heaven……..where did I put him?

  10. thenthefunbegan

    Ah Katie – this is sooo very true! Poor little seconds – we love them so very much though and they’re rufty little survivors who won’t know any different (although having said that I’m a second and I always gave my parents a hard time about the fact that my sister had a lovingly put together baby photo album and I didn’t ;-) )

  11. Jenny

    Katie this is BRILLIANT!!! I know I say that on all your post. Love this poem. I feel the same way on second child. We keep calling her the forget one. The one we know will be fine and just there to get on with it Bless her, I always feel like a crap mom because of it but like you said we now know they won’t die. hahaha I am now struggling because I did so many things like personal first year scrapbooks for Buba all pretty paper time consuming cut outs and now I feel I have no time and missy moo will get my blog instead hahahaha Greatly put here. Instagram babies all the way!!!!

  12. Pingback: Goodreads #31 - darktea

  13. Emma T (@ETusty)

    Love it.

    N’s the first child, but his first year while I was on maternity leave was ‘perfect’ time to do all the stuff we’d love to do with children. Since then back to work full time, and now it’s hard to make the time/find the time to do anything…so by default he’s a bit like an instababy himself.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s